And I think I use grad school as a shield from being in the real world. To make me feel like I’m doing something. It is so expensive and I don’t even fuck with it really and I also dont know if an MA will ever end up being useful. I think I’m just doing it because idk what else I’d do. I think the best thing would be to find some audacity or some balls or some creative motivation but I just cannot figure it out. Should I drop out of school and grow a pair? What would I even need for my balls to grow? The fuck am I doing here? Does anyone understand me? If I started writing would anyone get it? Would it even be good? If I wrote a story would it be good? What would it even be about? How do I start? I used to love writing, now I only write for homework. The few things I have started I end up thinking are so lame later. Is it best to just not even think about whether it’s good or bad, and just write? Because I can never tell and it makes me crazy. Maybe I’m not cut out for it. But I wanna be. That’s like always been the end goal. I’m not a lazy person, I’m very proactive. I just don’t know what steps to take to get there. You could say I’m lost. I fuck with Spite though. It’s way cooler than Reddit.