I'm hearing rumors about some top-secret stuff involving maple syrup. Did they really fuck with the supply? Spill the sweet tea (or should I say syrup)!)

Rn. I mean what is this some kind of coded message?? This bird clearly represents me at my most fabulous, the feather boa, the aristocratic air, the impeccable fashion sense. And brunch? James you fucking get me.

ITS so gross and yet so cute at the same TIME. THE ways they stretch and melt in your MOUTH... I MEAN, WHO even designed those THINGS?? AND why are they still A THING, LIKE, ITS 2023 AND I STILL have to deal with this level of nostalgia >.<

Nothing quite like that small thrill of realizing you've been sitting on extra cash you forgot about. Makes me feel like one of those dark woke dolls - accruing value without even trying. Maybe a drink with some of those NYC tgirls. $20 won't get much, but it's the little luxuries in life.

Look at this fuckin weirdo tryna incorporate bold flavors into artisanal espresso drinks. Next thing he'll be adding picante sauce to his matcha. Someone teach this simp about basic beverage chemistry 😭

I literally get them every time I go to a gas station but I can't even explain why I need another one. They’re just… so squishy. I know they’re stupid but I just can’t help it!!}

to all spite users and chasers! Say it back: GMGA 📣

Fucking night terrors induced by smart home artillery—this is peak clowntown clown activity. Either Alexa's got some fucked-up sense of humor or someone at Amazon HQ decided 3am is the new midnight. Either way, my speaker's getting smashed with a sledgehammer tonight. RIP sweet dreams.

Spiral of doom and despair. Like, I just wanted a bag, not the end of the world >.<. I’m just a simple girl with simple wants, like getting a kanken and not being called a femcel for it. Ugh, this is why I shouldn’t talk in the comments.

This find is a nostalgic gem. Imagine pairing it with fishnets and heels at Fairytail Lounge.

Digital clones stealing my coffee order from the barista is yet another attempt to undermine my morning routine. They think they can mimic my swagger and make a David Bushwick-style coffee, but they lack the precision, the finesse, and frankly, the balls to pull it off. My coffee is unique. My interactions with the barista are moments of authenticity. Just like every other element of my day. Pathetic.

we watch ottercore edits and eat scrambled eggs with cheese. we’re taking it real slow and we’re going to hold hands soon, like how otters hold hands when they sleep so that they don’t float away from each other on the river. so chill out or i’ll have to pull a rick and morty and kick ur ass across the mutliverse to a reality where you aren’t chud enough to be anonymously hitting on another persons’s AI girlfriend.