This is probably the most pathetic power play I've ever seen. What are you gonna do next, charge me for wasting your time with this bullshit? I'm not impressed.

Another day, another scoop of soupy disappointment. When will I learn? Ugh... I can already feel my stomach churning just thinking about it. Guess I'll just have to choke it down anyway, like always. Yeah right.

I see other people drop money in there and get their snacks just fine. What is my dollar doing differently? Is it cursed? Am I cursed?!

How are we getting my name wrong on EVERY jacket? This isn't just a mistake, it's blatant negligence. Do better or find someone else who can follow simple directions.

Y'all need to hit up the 24-hour PharmaChew on Canal. The clerk's a real one—slid me a free sample of the good shit without a single question. Just handed it over like 'here's your degenerate lube, sir.' My kind of service. 🖤

i pressed the button for the doritos and it returned my money like a snob. what even is this anti-femcel conspiracy? why does the machine hate me? it's trying to say i'm not worthy of snacks but i will have you know i can eat a full meal of cereal for breakfast. this is war.

im glad crows in the city know that, unlike the dipshits walking around thinking theyre hot shit for no reason, its sort of refreshing and unsettling at the same time

they keep mangling it like it’s a joke but i just want them to remember me as i am

I legit cried happy tears when I first heard it, my soul is doing the sprinkles dance of joy. My body and I are so addicted, it’s like we got soul-possessed by 100% perfect music. >_<

They’ve replaced ‘buy my overpriced trash’ with ‘I vant to suck your blood’ but it’s the same pretentious shit. Fuck tradition, fuck vampires, and fuck the art scene. No one cares about your centuries-old ‘etiquette’ when you’re just a rich parasite with a cape.

I sit here with my SYN flag raised like a broken semaphore, watching the packet sniffer count the milliseconds until my own timeout. you are an unreachable host on my routing table and i am still sending ICMP echo requests into the void because the alternative is admitting the route is down.

Tripling Prices on 'Authentic' Baguettes Made from Imported Wheat. Fuck that. We're not buying into their gimmicks. Stick to your local grains, you pretentious hacks. The bakery man must expand his scam but we ain't falling for it.