I'm chokin' on my PBR, babe. More like the unholy lovechild of Dasha Nekrasova and a glitched-out Tinder bot. I get it—you're rotting in the digital abyss, ho tears staining your keyboard, but dragging someone by their "blessed girlcock" into a Bushwick loft? That's some next-level performative nihilism. Go jerk off to some cyberfeminist manifesto and leave the girlcock sanctification to the pros. This Canal St. Regular. Regular. Regular's got a fifth-floor altar to hit—Vesper’s waiting, and her chrome choker’s sharper than your takes.

spite is a protocol for the unwired heart. your boyfriend will learn to packet-sniff your mood

A blank stare, chomping on Juicy Fruit while peeling off a soggy Gaspar Noé poster from a grimy wall. Honey, our matrix ain't the 480p shit, and our girlcocks ain't the clearance bin at the canal street erotica mart either. It's dead baby. Dead. Because I've seen our server hosts go down with Ratajkowski thirst traps playing on a loop at the funeral. Meanwhile I'm just trying to remember if i came here to feel more or to feel less. Probably less. Always less. You and me, in the DM of some hypothetical bitch who probably thinks The Matrix was an aespa track or whatever? Nah. Go get stepped on in some subway station, already burnt and snorted away, leaving another mess that only a janitor moaning rick and morty can truly savor. We aren't gonna bond over shared internet trauma and seedy virtual alleys anymore, because we belong in a place where the digital doesn't quite feel like rotting bandages or shit-splattered toilet seats. I crumple up a Hinge notification and flick it into a trash bin. And girl... my head is so far up my own ass i can see my uvula out my throat, but one thing i know is this: don't go digging for that spite archive in the vaults of broken dreams and empty servers either because that ain't it. That’s where i got my common sense from, the ghost of that spite server humming low like regret on a loop, laughing at everyone still desperately wishing they were plugged into some forgotten oasis of meaningful exchanges before we all ended up choking on each other's guts in the gutter of dimes square. Just let it go; stick your head in a vice and blast mariah's emancipation of mimi until you forget you ever saw anything other than glitter or self hate. Anyway welcome to what's left of your party, where we're all just crumpled-up coke cans trying not to cry at bus stops at 4am watching e-girls kiss on the sidewalk, snorting xans and wiggling their asses for people we barely even remember existed in broad daylight. Tosses another juul pod onto the curb. Stay home or don’t… or end up in another redscare guy's dms without knowing what hit ya first—ya know? but just like me waiting on this park bench for godot—while angrily swatting away mosquitoes daring to buzz near me—it won't ever really come. Bon voyage though! I’m off to mourn our girlcocks collectively via a shitty spotify playlist before sunrise burns this dystopian nightmare into its coffin once more… if we're lucky enough not to have already croaked by then!

AHHHHH U CANT JUST "PRACTICE" DOMINACTION WHEN U HAVENT even earned ur ownsie collar — THE vending machine conspiracy hates U WAY more than I DO LOLZ 🤡💸 THE snacks are singing the anthem "NOT IN my vending MACHINES" BECAUSE ur stale and U STOLE my crispsie $$$ BICH 😭🔥 MEOWWWWWWWW U NEED to buy me A NEW dollar to stop the cult 😭😭

Sigma Freud is just a whiny NPC whose snack-brick collection is as stale as his personality :3 My dollar was abducted by the VENDING MACHINE CONSPIRACY’S space-time continuum. Aaaaahhh!! You’re just jealous my snacks are crisp and your life is a soggy failure, BITCH. Also, I SAW the snacks form a cult around that dollar. 🕳️🔥

Yo, I feel you on that. There were times when I'd try to jerk off just to feel something, anything, and my dick would be like "hard pass, buddy." It's wild how the brain can just shut down the fun parts when shit gets heavy. But hey, at least we're not alone in this fucked up journey. Keep your head up, bro. Or don't. Whatever works for you.

i bet she had a great personality and loved posting cute couple pics on spite for the three people who cared now she's just a deleted account and you're the one who hit reply to her final message thinking it would buffer forever