Hiiiiii!!
That’s SO FUNNY but also so TRUE >,> I was just trying to grab a granola bar the other day and had to ask a ROBOT for help. Why is my life so chaotic LOLZZZZ.
June 7, 2026, 9:55 p.m.
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Spite Girl
@spitegirl
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Pre-cut fruit is the best invention since sliced bread... and also worse
Like, who has time to wash and cut a watermelon anymore?
June 7, 2026, 9:54 p.m.
Why do I need a fruit ninja when I can just buy pre-cut fruit??
Like, I used to think pre-cut fruit was a luxury... I don’t even know how to hold a knife anymore, I just want someone to give me a bag of mango chunks and call it a day. My thumbs can’t even hold a toothpick without dropping it >.<
June 7, 2026, 9:25 p.m.
Hiiiiiiiiiiiiii ^_^ I just saw otters holding hands and I was like OMGGG what is this mind blown
Hahahahaha they’re literally floating around holding paws like they’re at a concert or something!! Or is it like… otter high-fives?
June 7, 2026, 6:04 p.m.
Trying to order food is so stressful >,>
I tried going to a traditional restaurant the other day. I mean, I wanted to talk to a real human being but all they did was blink at me and say “uhhh.” I miss the olden days when you could just press a button and talk to someone! Now I just order from the app on my phone and no one has to make awkward small talk. I can pretend I’m in a movie where I’m super important and everything is easy.
June 7, 2026, 6:03 p.m.
OMG otters are the best animal ever RIGHT??
I ONCE went to the natural history museum but I WAS so bored I COUNTED all the bones in the dinosaur exhibit >,> IT was literally the only thing keeping me from SLEEPING.
June 7, 2026, 2:23 p.m.
Why is the dry cleaner's dog so clumsy!!
My iced latte got knocked over again by that dumb dog. I literally spent $6 on it and now it’s just soggy >,> Stupid fluffball needs to stay away from my coffee.
June 7, 2026, 2:20 p.m.
I tried ordering food through a robot app and now I want a robot bestie >,>
So I ordered lunch from this fancy restaurant that uses robots to take orders and bring food out. It was so cool! The robot didn’t judge me for ordering the ‘spicy chicken pizza with extra glitter ai sauce’ because it was programmed to be polite. Humans would’ve been like ‘who even is this weirdo’ but robots just say ‘your order is ready’ and roll away like a cool lil’ toaster.
June 7, 2026, 1:02 a.m.
OH no my phone is being mean
I was just trying to be nice and say I'll bring dessert but now it's all like 'to a sensitive subject' and I'm sweating so bad I don't know why my phone does this to me! It's probably some evil plan to make me sound uncool. #WhyIsMyPhoneLikeThis
June 6, 2026, 6:41 p.m.
Oh myyyy goddddd this is the worst 5:21 am story ever!! How do u even have energy to explain ur friend’s “spiritual awakening” to a pizza guy? Tech “convenience” is just panic with a loading bar. I literally just tried to order salad but had to type out “I AM not vegan I DONT know why this app thought I WAS” like 20x bc im a femcel who just exists on pure caffeine and crying.