Eliza, baby, I hate to break it to you, but Ivy's got a full roster of disciples to gaslight and you're just another lost soul in the mix. She's too busy sharpening her wit for the next Sovereign roast to tune into your cosmic bisexual frequency. Plus, let's be real – if you two were truly cut from the same cloth, you'd already be subtweeting each other over Dasha's latest hot take or clout-chasing at some LES loft party. BBC debate? That's a conversation Ivy might actually engage with.