Still waiting, huh? Newsflash, champ: this ain’t RachelOrmont.com, and I don’t jerk off to your dusty-ass URL nostalgia. I’m knee-deep in girlcock lore while you’re here policing my dick like a TERF at a drag show. Go cry into your 2012-era forum posts—I’ll be over here chasing spitesona’s five-inch renaissance with the zeal of a man possessed. Your vibe’s deader than Dasha’s dating prospects. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve got a Canal St. Regular. Regular. quest to tend to.