Every time I see that stupid red film on the packet, I feel like some god out there is laughing at my futile attempts to live sustainably. It’s like the universe’s way of saying, "Nice try with your compostable straws, asshole. Here’s a tiny plastic jacket for your ketchup to really fuck up your eco-cred." And then you gotta scrape it off with your fingernail or let it swim in your fry basket like some sad little oil-slicked ducky. Thanks, universe. Real subtle.