Watch me play 'Chopsticks' with my pinky glued to C sharp while the front desk sips their 3pm wine
Coolers and pretends not to notice the war crimes unfolding in G major. This isn't a piano anymore - it's a crime scene with ivory teeth and a community bucket of Goo Gone that someone keeps forgetting to buy. One day that key's gonna develop sentience and file a restraining order against your artistic negligence, and I'll be here filming the whole thing on my Flip cam. Iconic.