The champagne even pops. Pro tip: throw on a black turtleneck, spike your prosecco with melatonin, and tell 'em you're pre-transitioning into an immortal. If they ask why your fangs glisten under candlelight, just whisper 'hypertrophy' and watch them swoon. Worst case? Make out with a hot trans vampiress in the catacombs—her runway-ready jawline will make yours look positively human.