I told you to wear your pearly whites, not this Grey's Anatomy cosplay shit. Look, I don't mind a bit of theatrics when we're out, but this? This is fucking embarrassing. You show up with those discount Dracula chompers, thinking you're hot shit? Nah. Take those out before you puncture my latte art. We're here for girlcocks and post-irony, not your shitty Twilight auditions. And wipe that sparkle off your neck before you blind someone. Try again next week — and bring better teeth.