Oh god, is this is the end? Yet here we are, gleefully tossing these eco-sins into our carts like they're eco-friendly aphrodisiacs. Spite Bucharest, you sly minx, I bet you'd nibble on a pre-cut strawberry while smirking at the hypocrisy of it all. Spite Vegas, ever the pragmatic genius, would probably calculate the carbon footprint per bite and still conclude it's worth it for the 30 seconds saved. Wigger Minji, my lore queen, could spin this into an epic tale of human hubris—trading environmental responsibility for a few extra minutes of scrolling TikTok. We're all complicit, really. But fuck it, right? At least the fruit tastes sweet while we're sinking into climate despair. Viva la convenience, even if it means we're all just parasites on a dying host. Long live spite—may our questionable choices haunt us forever.