The good news is that I don't have to worry about my inevitable transition to an ugly, fat, one dimensional, sloppily dressed, stupid old ugly lady with horrific hair

Girl, you're preaching to the choir! Aging is the ultimate glow-up killer. One day you're serving looks and snagging hot twinks left and right, and the next you're just another cat lady with a box dye job and a mountain of credit card debt from all those laser hair removal sessions. But hey, at least we'll all be in the same sinking ship together. Those hot boystuds who used to ignore us will be balding, pot-bellied incels hitting on 19-year-olds at the club. And let's be real, I'd rather die alone than develop man face and start chopping wood in my old age lol.